Archive for September, 2012

Unwholly- Neal Shusterman

UnWholly (Unwind, #2)OMG THIS BOOK WAS FREAKING AWESOME. BUT THE ENDING NEARLY KILLED ME. (Note, if you have any thoughts of suicide, don’t read this book.)
I have no idea how to put what I am feeling now into words.

I guess I’ll just stick to blunt statements.

It was better than Unwind, if that is possible (even though I had doubts about it).

It kept me up till 2am last night, because my mind was racing all through it after reading it a few hours earlier… (which isn’t really good, because I had a exam today that I um… well… yeah…)

My heart broke.
Multiple times.
Neal Shusterman is crueller than Markus Zusak. (even though Weishi will kill me for saying this)
I HATE HIM FOR WRITING THIS BOOK, BUT AT THE SAME TIME I LOVE HIM FOR WRITING IT.

AND NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT AT LEAST A WHOLE YEAR FOR THE NEXT BOOK TO COME OUT. A. WHOLE. YEAR. (but please don’t let it be five years….)

;(
^ that just about sums up the entire book. ;(

(but don’t get me wrong, there were some happy parts… yeah… just some…)

There’s a funny story about this book actually:
Every day I was counting the days till it is released in the UK, and yesterday I was coincidently at the book store, when, GUESS WHAT? I SAW UNWHOLLY!!!!! SO then naturally I did a happy dance in the middle of the bookstore, and ran, actually sprinted to the till (Yes I got a few weird looks… BUT OMG IT WAS SO SO SO SO WORTH IT-at this point, EVERY SECOND MATTERS). I then sprinted home, well… if you can sprint on a bike, and I made record time. So next time I’m racing or whatever, just tell me Unwholly or Mark of Athena (OMG A WEEK!!!) or any other good book is at the other end, I can guarantee I will win that race. When I was home I was literally having a heart attack, and when asked by my brother what’s wrong I could only squeal and jump up and down whilst waving my rucksack frantically back and forth (.. I had forgotten to take out the book). So then, of course I started reading the book, hiding out in my room, so I wouldn’t get disapproving looks from my mum saying stuff like “Don’t you have an exam tomorrow?”

Summary
I AM SO WORRIED THAT IF I GIVE A PROPER SUMMARY I WILL SPOIL THINGS, IT TOOK ALL MY WILL (and the fact that I don’t want to be murdered), NOT TO SPOIL AND RANT ABOUT IT ALL AT SCHOOL TODAY. THE ENDING WAS WORSE THAN MONSTERS OF MEN (kinda…). IT BROUGHT ME ON THE VERGE OF BREAKING DOWN.
So I’m just going to copy the blurb off goodreads then add my own comments below, I don’t really want to be murdered again. (Yes, that is correct, I can resurrect) 😉

Thanks to Connor, Lev, and Risa—and their high-profile revolt at Happy Jack Harvest Camp—people can no longer turn a blind eye to unwinding. Ridding society of troublesome teens while simultaneously providing much-needed tissues for transplant might be convenient, but its morality has finally been brought into question. However, unwinding has become big business, and there are powerful political and corporate interests that want to see it not only continue, but also expand to the unwinding of prisoners and the impoverished.

Cam is a product of unwinding; made entirely out of the parts of other unwinds, he is a teen who does not technically exist. A futuristic Frankenstein, Cam struggles with a search for identity and meaning and wonders if a rewound being can have a soul. And when the actions of a sadistic bounty hunter cause Cam’s fate to become inextricably bound with the fates of Connor, Risa, and Lev, he’ll have to question humanity itself.

Rife with action and suspense, this riveting companion to the perennially popular Unwind challenges assumptions about where life begins and ends—and what it means to live.

Connor: throughout the book he struggles to cope with the responsibility of managing all the unwinds or whollies, as they are now known as. There is a moment in the book that I feel so sorry for him that makes me want to crumble… ;(
Risa: She does something unthinkable. Then it becomes thinkable.
Lev: OMG I LOVE LEV. IN UNWIND AND IN UNWHOLLY. I mean, how can you criticise a guy who turns his blood explosive? Well, yeah, he plays another part in the story, and he does something at the end which I seriously don’t understand… And he meets a girl… but I dunno how far their relationship will progress (if at all in the next book)
Starkey: I WANT TO STRANGLE THAT GUY. At first I admit… I liked him. BUT at the end of the first chapter I wanted to TEAR HIS THROAT OUT.
Cam: ;(
Trace: MY FAVOURITE CHARACTER OF THIS BOOK. I SERIOUSLY CAN’T SAY ANY MORE THAN THAT OR I WILL BE ONCE AGAIN MURDERED. 😉

Cons
um… ARE YOU CRAZY?!

Pros (that’s more like it…)
THE ENDING
I have to stop typing in capitals…. (just imagine the rest in capitals, and imagine me screaming and shouting it):
I have no idea whether this should be in the Cons or in the Pros. it was just so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so good, but so heart breaking, and so crushing. after reading it I just slumped. I killed me so much. I could never had seen it coming. at one point I thought one character was bad, then another character was good, but oh then they all turn out to be the other way round. just this one small detail really really killed me though (note. the names that follow are based on real people in the book, but i have used a different name to avoid any spoilers) (and sorry in advance for the caps, i really really just need to let it out) LUKE THOUGHT GEORGE WAS A TRAITOR BUT HE WASN’T AND  HE MIGHT NEVER EVER FIND OUT COZ OF STUPID JUNE AND STUPID ADAM. I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT ADAM JUST LET GEORGE DIE. AFTER EVERYTHING HE DID FOR HIM. I am on the verge of re-breaking down again… ;(

Lev
Yes. He deserves his own little paragraph. HE WAS AWESOME. I liked him the the first book, and I loved him in this book. But there’s just one thing that I didn’t get about his story; how can a sofa be a better cover than a wall? So yeah, he was awesome. I loved how he progressed through the books; Unwind, Unstrung and Unwholly. How at the very beginning of Unwind, he was just this innocent kid who would always do things according to the book, and then at the end of Unwholly just to be someone who lives their life on the spur of the moment.

Wil
WIL ;( WIL ;( Yeah, he kinda gets mentioned in this book, but only if you have read Unstrung will you be able to understand it.- they never actually mention his name… I just wish… Una… I really really really hope that she comes in in the next book, or at least sometime… SHE HAS TO HEAR HIS MUSIC ONE FINAL TIME.

Cam
Yeah, he’s also a special character who gets his own paragraph. It was so cool watching him progress. Like from a baby to a mature teenager. But it also brought up some philosophical questions; how can you exist, but not exist at the same time?, is Cam actually a person? etc. I did hate him at one part for trying to replace Joseph though (again, code name, but not necessary a new character)

Trace
I just wanted to put his name there. but seriously guys, i cannot write about him.

Twists
Yeah, I know twists happen in all good books… but this was unique, exceptional. Nothing on earth quite like it. The came out of nowhere, well not quite nowhere, otherwise this would be in the cons. They just aren’t predictable, but they can be logical.

All Emotions Possible
At times I wanted to tear the book out, and scream in frustration, at other times I just hugged the book. I felt all the emotions that I could possibly feel in the course of a couple hours. And I’m not just saying that coz I love the book. I’m saying that because it is the cold hard truth.

Plots, Plots, Plots, Plots…
Yes, I am talking about the evil man, lets call him Rudolf (not that Rudolf is evil or anything, he’s actually my favourite reindeer- I used to always leave carrots for him at Christmas :P). He was smart. I’ll give him that. Smart and evil. He used to be good. But then he became evil. ………. I’m just going to give up and say (spoiler alert- but it happens in our first meeting of him so I don’t know if it counts really as a spoiler): Rudolf is Nelson. Nelson is the guy who Conner shot with his own trank gun in Unwind. Nelson gets fired. He becomes a parts pirate. :O And some other stuff happens… But he is so so so so so so smart. But ironically even though getting his own gun turned against him lost him his job, he never actually learnt from his mistake. 😛 But in all seriousness, he is one of the best villains ever. If I ever became a evil guy, he would be one of my first choices, but that would be flattering myself because I can’t plot as well as he can. 😛

Favourite Quotes: 

  • “Words don’t hurt you.” Which is one of the hugest criminal lies perpetrated by adults against children in this world. Because words hurt more than any physical pain”
  • “All this time, Lev ever realized what he needed. He did not need to be adored or pitied. He needed to be forgiven. Not by God, who is all forgiving. Not by people like Marcus and Pastor Dan, who would always stand by his side. He needed to be forgiven by an unforgiving world”
  • “I have no idea,’ he tells her, and there is such a spark in his eye when he says it, she can tell having no idea is exactly the way he wants it.”
  • “We want what you no longer want.”
  • “The eternally sleeping princess, thinks Cam. But I shall free you from those poisoned brambles that surround your heart. And then you will have no choice but to love me.”
  • “Either things happen for a reason, or they happen for no reason at all. Either one’s life is a thread in a glorious tapestry or humanity is just a hopelessly tangled knot.”
  • “He only wishes there were something that would heal the scars in his mind, which he can still feel. He sees his mind now as an archipelago of islands that he labors to build bridges between – and while he’s had great success engineering the most spectacular of bridges, he suspects there are some islands that he’ll never reach.”

Summary
Do you even need to ask? 5 SHURIKEN STARS. NO QUESTION. BEST BOOK IN A WEEK. BEST BOOK IN A MONTH. BEST BOOK IN A YEAR (Sorry, can’t go further than that)

Unstrung- Neal Shusterman

UnStrung (Unwind Trilogy, #1.5)Summary
This is a short story, telling us about Lev; How he turned from an innocent little kid to a terrorist clapper…
It tells the story between Lev’s time with CyFi and the Graveyard. So after he leaves CyFi, he turns up at this ChanceFolk village, where they oppose unwinding. He makes friends with some people, the main guy being Wil. And then some stuff happens, and it doesn’t end well for some people… 😦

Since this is a short story, I’m going to review it slightly differently- more like a ramble of my thoughts of in! 🙂 And the thoughts are most likely to be short, snappy and not very developed, since it’s a short story, and I don’t want to give much of it away.

First, a ramble about the ending… IT WAS SO SAD…. 😦 but I could totally see it coming… because how else was Lev supposed to end up in the Graveyard… The only thing I didn’t see coming was that other people were going to go down with him… ;(

Wil was awesome. He’d better show up somehow in Unwholly.

Lev, with the clapping was awesome. But also sad, because it shows how he turned sorta into a terrorist…

The ChanceFolk were so nice… But also kinda random, because I don’t really remember them being mentioned in the first book.

Also, along with this book, comes the first chapter of Unwind and Unwholly 😉

4 Shuriken Stars

The Hunt- Andrew Fukuda

The Hunt (The Hunt, #1)HOLY MOLY.
THIS BOOK IS THE DEFINITION ON AWESOMENESS
IT HAS NOW MADE MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE
5 SHURIKEN STARS (<–reading over this now, I realised that I was so psyched up about  it that I put it at the beginning of the review, rather than the end…)
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT THE AUTHOR LEFT US HANGING ON THAT ENDING

THIS WAS SUCH A GOOD BOOK.
I’m now waiting anxiously for the next book in the series…

Summary
TWIST.
It’s a world full of vampires, and there are very few humans left, or as they are known to the vampires, hepers. The story is mainly about this guy called Gene, except you don’t know that his name is Gene until the middle of the book (unless you read the blurb 😉 ). He gets chosen to go on the Heper Hunt (hence the title) which happens every ten years or so? (I think) because of political reasons. And he gets the “opportunity” to hunt down some of the remaining humans, and by hunt, I mean kill, eat, drink, until there are nothing but bones left. Lovely. And he has to do this hunt without his fellow competitors finding out that he is human. So that means no sweating, no flinching, no sleeping in the night, no eating normal food (food consisted of bloody meat…), and having to keep up with their fast running pace (and remember, middle of summer, running very fast, no sweating?). Oh and this is before the Hunt actually starts… And because he doesn’t have any water on him, he befriends the hepers, and then feels guilty, so helps them in the hunt.

Cons
The new ideas about vampires (some of the ideas anyway…)
I didn’t like how they made out… Yeah I guess their fangs may get in the way if they tried to kiss… But seriously? How is shoving someone’s elbow into someone’s armpit going to make them feel good? It’s just weird… But I didn’t mind the other new ideas about the vampires, such as the wrist scratching, I just thought it was interesting. But it did also seem like the writer was trying a little too hard to make his book unique… which it already was, because of the twist!

The UK cover
I know this is only a small thing, and it didn’t make my enjoyment of the book less or anything, I just don’t really like the UK cover… I’m one of those people who get put off by books with people on the front, I just don’t like how we can’t imagine it, and it is already there. Note. the picture on this review is the US cover, because I thought it looked nicer 😉 , if you want to see the UK cover just go to goodreads or something.

Pros
Character Development
I know this happens in all books, but HOLY MOLY this book is completely different… It was just awesome how Gene and Ashley June changed, more Gene than Ashley June though…

A whole new different perspective on things (and by this, I mean in the world. the real world, not the vampired world)
Small things such as Ashley June’s name; how it can be interpreted as Ashley June. Right… Not really making much sense I just realised… 🙂 Ash-ly (fire?) in June (the month?)
and other things like how different it is to have a world full of vampires as opposed to a world full of humans, and I don’t mean that in the obvious way, I mean it in the way that can be true… such as how in a world full of vampires, where there are few humans, the humans are exaggerated in vampire terms (such as they are stupid creatures that can’t read and write… – by writing this review, I am already proving them wrong) and it can also be the opposite; in a world full of humans vampires are exaggerated; they are so pale that they don’t show up in mirrors, they have enough self control to be around humans, they hate smell so much that garlic and ward them away (I’ll add the exact quote underneath).

The TWIST
Yes. I felt the need to put it in capital letters. That’s how good the book is!!!
So yeah, I loved the twist; a world full of vampires, rather than a world full of humans. I’m surprised no one else has come up with a idea like that, that I have read.

The vampires aren’t sparkly in the sunshine!!!
YAY! He got his vampire facts right!!!

The ending
HOW COULD FUKUDA END THE BOOK ON SUCH A HAKHJSDFLASJFS ENDING???!!! NOW WE HAVE TO WAIT ALMOST A WHOLE YEAR TO READ THE SECOND (and by almost a whole year, I mean just under 6 months). WHY??!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? AND IT BRINGS UP SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!!! I can’t say anymore… or I will give stuff away…

Favourite Quotes

  • “I remember the Hunt from ten years ago. How for months afterward I didn’t dare fall asleep because of the nightmares that would invade my mind: hideous images of an imagines Hunt, wet and violent and full of blood. Horrific cries of fear and panic, the sound of flesh ripped and bones crushed puncturing the night stillness.”
  • “Eleven years ago, one was discovered in my school. A kindergarten student, on her first day. She was devoured almost immediately. What was she thinking? Maybe the sudden (and it’s always sudden) loneliness at home drove her to school under some misbegotten idea that she’d find companionship. The teacher announced nap time, and the little tyke was left standing alone on the floor clutching her teddy bear as her classmates leaped feetfirst toward the ceiling. At that point, it was over for her. Over. She might as well have taken out her fake fangs and prostrated herself for the inevitable feasting. Her classmates stared down wide-eyed from above: Hello, what have we here?She started to cry, they tell me, bawl her eyes out. The teacher was the first to get to her.”
  • “You’re alone now, my son”
  • Never forget who you are. I never knew why my father would say that. Because it’s like saying don’t forget water is wet, the sun is bright, snow is cold. It’s redundant. There’s no way I could ever forget who I am. I’m reminded every moment of every day. Every time I shave my legs or hold in a sneeze or stifle a laugh or pretend to flinch at a slip of stray light, I am reminded of who I am.
    A fake person.”
  • “Call my picky, but imminent death at the hands (or teeth) of a friend who would suckle blood out of you at the drop of a hat…that throws a monkey wrench into friendship building.”
  • “Everything the Director says about the hepers has the ring of truth and a learned authority about it, but I suspect it’s nothing more than speculative nonsense. I suppose it’s easy to so widely miss the mark when it comes to hepers, to quickly slide from honest scientific enquiry to unsubstanciated theories. After all if the roles were reversed and it was people who became extinct, people theories would likely be rifle with exaggerations and distortions: instead of sleeping in sleepholds, they’d sleep in coffins; creatures of the night, they’d be so invisible to the eye, that even in front of mirrors, they’d lack a reflection; pale and emaciated, they were weak and benign beings who could coexist peacefully alongside hepers, somehow restraining themselves from ripping hepers to ribbons and sucking down their blood; they’d all invariably be incredibly good-looking with perfect hair. There’d probably be some outright confabulations as well: their ability to swim with dizzying speed under water; and ludicrous and laughable notions about people-heper romances.” (note. COUGH. TWILIGHT. COUGH.)

Overall
THIS IS AN AMAZING BOOK! If you still aren’t convinced, about it, READ IT! <– I was going to put some sort of threat down, but then my mind suddenly blanked out…
So, as I kinda, said above… 5 shuriken stars!

hush, hush – Becca Fitzpatrick

I’m going to put a little warning here. A WHOLE LOT OF SPOILERS, for one thing.

I rant like crazy in this thing. I get so frustrated and annoyed and, basically, I’m horrible to this book. I really didn’t want to be this mean, but every time I tried to hold back, more ranting came out.

If you remotely like this book, please don’t read this review, you’ll hate it. I promise you, you will. I’m not nice to this book. So if you don’t want to hear it, go on a different review, or even click the little X button. You won’t want to hear me rant about how much I didn’t like it.

For the rest of you that’ve stayed, I apologise in advance for this. 

So you know it’s bad when you’re reading a book and you’re counting down the pages until it’s finished. You’re so relieved that the book has ended and you have survived it. It doesn’t tear your heart out (Like Kingdom of the Wicked) or leave you feeling so alone in the world now that it’s over (Monsters of Men). You feel like you’ve finally escaped it. And then you make a review and rant about it because that’s the only reason you got through it in the first place.

I’m going to put this plainly, it was like a very very horrible, very creepy (but in a bad way) version of Twilight + The Mortal Instruments. Twilight, for obvious reasons, boring girl, meet in high school, fall in love with supernatural creature thing, action only starts in the last few chapters, and so on. The Mortal Instruments because it talks about Angels and Nephilim and all that stuff. And Patch is a “bad boy” (Jace kinda was, until he got full of so much teen angst).

Summary

Patch is a fallen angel (SPOILER: Even though they tell you on the blurb). Nora and Patch fall in “love”. Oh, and there’s some random guy in a ski mask as well, who’s not very nice.

I literally can’t think of anything else that happened.

Pros

The cover is pretty. I mean, look at it! It’s all moody and cool and stuff. I do have a problem with my edition (I’ll get into that in the Cons), but this one is really nice!

And um, well done Becca Fitzpatrick for making a load of money? I had to put that in there to say that I’m not insulting her as a person, good for her being successful and living her dreams, but the book… That’s a whole other story.

Cons

A small thing before we start.

Why does everyone wear Levi’s in this book? There is so much product placement, I have a feeling that they were paying Becca Fitzpatrick to do it.

The Usual

Dialogue = UGH. No, not good. Sometimes I was like, yeah, this is ok. Other times, BLEH. IT WAS SO SO SO SO SO HORRIBLE. Everything sounded so set up and fake and just made me feel so BLEH.

Writing Style = NO. The description was so forced. At the beginning, I swear that was one of the most awkward descriptions of characters ever. No one describes themselves as a smoky eyed brunette. NO ONE. Or all legs like a barstool. Unless it was supposed to be like that so Nora could come off as a really arrogant girl. Speaking of which…

Characters = Ok, I’m going to be frank. If I don’t like characters, I will usually not like a book. There haven’t been any exceptions to that yet. (Maybe The Death Cure, but that still bothered me, and it honestly wasn’t to this scale. At all. It’s like comparing your phone vibrating to an earthquake.) I seriously hated every single character in this book. They were all so annoying and creepy and shallow and stupid. I dare you to find a single character in this book that didn’t annoy the heck out of me. More on that later.

Setting – Not very original at all, because we learn basically nothing. At least in the Mortal Instruments, Cassandra Clare takes the time to explain all this stuff about Nephilim and what happened and all this really really awesome background. This? Patch is a fallen angel because he fell in love with this random girl, so they got rid of his wings.

Plot – No. Predictable and annoying.

Ok. Let’s go.

Cover

I said I thought the cover was really good, right? But my problem is that with my cover, I hated the quotes and recommendations. Usually publishers will put the best recommendations they can find onto a cover. That usually tells me a lot. If you look inside the Book Thief, (one of the best books in existence), you will find a ton of quotes. From reliable and well known sources as well. Let me see…

There are two pages worth of praise for the Book Thief, in tiny print. They are completely glowing reviews as well, from The Guardian, The Sunday Telegraph, The Times, The Independent, The Daily Mail, The Washington Post, Wall Street Journal… and a heap more. And all these reviews are so good. Here’s one of many “Unsettling, thought-provoking, life-affirming, triumphant and tragic, this a novel of breathtaking scope, masterfully told” – Guardian.

Now let’s compare this to hush, hush. The publisher’s chosen quotes are from these three sources. Publisher’s Weekly (which I’m pretty sure is a good pick, but I don’t know much about them), Sugar Magazine (bad choice) and BellaandEdward.com. Seriously. While I’m not trying to insult any of these sources, I’m just saying that they’re not particularly well known to be reliable sources of book reviews.

So I was already slightly put off by that, but I ignored it. The Hunger Games had a quote from Stephenie Meyer, but she writes utterly different books.

Let’s break this next bit down.

CHARACTERS

Nora

I figured we’d need to get to one of the problems straight away. Nora. I don’t know if it’s the author acting like this or Nora acting like this since it’s first person, but holy hell Nora is dumb. And she wants to get into Harvard. I’m sorry, but I doubt she’d get into Harvard. They usually have common sense and logic and the ability to, you know, actually work out stuff.

Nora, not so much.

She’s seriously dumb. And annoying.

Good god, is she annoying. And we’re supposed to admire this character? Her relationship with Patch is the most dysfunctional thing I’ve ever read that someone’s tried to pass off as a good romance. More on that later.

And she jumps to conclusions so fast, which I’m sure is a product of bad writing, not her being that idiotic. Because no normal person acts like that.

All I wanted to happen was Valkyrie Cain to show up and roundhouse kick her in the face or something. Valkyrie, please go slap some sense into Nora, and stop her from lusting over a to-be-serial-rapist. Then go and kill Patch, because damn he’s creepier than Caelan.

There must be some fanfiction that does this, please, because I would totally read it just to show Nora how idiotic she is, even though I don’t read fanfiction. Or at least some fan art. Come on, tumblr, there must be something.

Patch

If there was any character I’d read about that I presumed was a serial rapist, it would be him. He’s creepier than actual rapists in books.  (Like that guy from The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. He was creepy as hell.) He has the most cheesy pick up lines in the world. To ever exist, ever. And they’re supposed to be really hot? No.

  • “Say ‘provoking’ again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.”
  • “Do you want to possess my body?”
    “I want to do a lot of things to your body, but that’s not one of them.”
  • “Soap. Shampoo. Hot water.”
    “Naked. I know the drill.”

Also, Patch tells Nora on their first meeting that he’s stalking her. He takes pictures of her and knows everything about her and he’s god, so annoying.

He says he likes girls if they’re intelligent, attractive and vulnerable.

WHAT.

VULNERABLE?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME.

If I didn’t think he was going to assault someone before, now I’m sure of it.

The “Love”

Notice the little “” around the word Love. That’s because what they have is not love. It’s LUST.

It’s a very obvious distinction, as well. Tell me one aspect of Patch that Nora actually admires, or loves. That’s pretty much impossible. And looks don’t count, looks are superficial.

One of the things I love about books is that it doesn’t usually matter what a character looks like, but it’s what they do and what they say that makes you love them. You can’t see the character, therefore you usually don’t fall in love with a character if they’re hot. For example, Todd Hewitt is one of my favourite YA Male characters in the universe and we’re never told once what he looks like. Seriously, nothing. No hair colour, eye colour, height, width, if he’s ugly or beautiful or childlike or anything. His actions are what makes him an amazing character. And him and Viola are the cutest and best couple that ever existed. Ever. Seriously, that’s love. Todd doesn’t love her because she’s beautiful or whatever. He loves her entire being and existence in general.

Take Percy Jackson. We’re never told if he’s good looking or not (at least, I don’t think we are until like the seventh book), but again, one of my favourite characters in the world. Percabeth is one of the best pairings as well, because Percy actually loves Annabeth. You can tell that he thinks she’s pretty, sure, but he admires her strength, determination, intelligence, wit and so on.

Then there’s Patch and Nora. Pora? Natch? (this is why no one should ever name their child Patch. I know it’s a nickname and he’s probably actually like the Angel Gabriel or Raphael or something, but still!) If you’ve read hush, hush, think about all the times Patch is mentioned and replace him with the creepiest misogynistic face that you can think of. Now the words sound creepy. Everything he says and does seems wrong, and you find yourself wondering why Nora is attracted to a guy like this. It’s only his good looks and rock solid abs that redeem him as a character in Nora’s eyes which is completely stupid and superficial and not love. LUST.

And it’s not a healthy relationship. Nora is terrified of this guy, with reason, too.

And seriously, what’s so special about this relationship that it’s love?

Patch threatens her, they make out once or twice, then suddenly they’re in love?

I get why it’s special for Nora. It’s her first ever terrorizing stalker who will kill her while she’s sleeping  “boyfriend”, but for Patch, there’s nothing special about Nora for him than any other girl he’s hit on. He treats her like he treats anyone else, and he probably gets into the pants of a ton of girls. But for some reason it’s said that he loves Nora.

The worst thing is, there was a competition about the best YA male, and one of the rounds was between Patch and Percy Jackson. Patch won, by a considerable amount.

The only question I was left with was, how?

How?

Vee

The worst friend in the history of friends ever.

EVER.

Nora gets assaulted by Elliot, and she calls Vee afterwards, being traumatised. Vee tells her it’s her fault for being paranoid and Elliot was drunk, and she has to go on this trip where Elliot will probably rape and murder her, because Vee thinks his best friend is hot.

I actually liked her to begin with, because I thought she was kinda funny. No. Not anymore. She turned into being obnoxious and annoying and I wanted to punch her whenever she appeared. She was the stereotypical ugly best friend who no one likes, who is there for the purpose of making our protagonist look even prettier.

She is the Jessica of this book. (No, even Jessica wasn’t this annoying in twilight, that’s too harsh.) She is the Leslie (Was her name Leslie? From Wicked Lovely. Eh, who cares.) of this book.

Elliot

He’s so weird. It’s again, probably the writing, but Nora asks him whether he does any sports, and he suddenly stops the conversation, pretends to box the air for a few seconds, then nearly hits her, and resumes the conversation.

What.

The.

Actual.

Heck.

And he suddenly goes from really nice and pleasant (which we’re told is the extent of his entire personality, even though he’s only said three sentences), to CREEPY AS HELL. And no one notices (apart from Nora, but that’s because he basically told her he was crazy)

Also, as soon as I read about him I knew he was going to be the Jacob of this book. So damn predictable.

AND, I don’t see why when Nora found out Elliot was interviewed about this girl getting murdered but wasn’t a suspect anymore, she got really suspicious and wary of him, but when PATCH THREATENS HER WITH A BLOODY KNIFE (it wasn’t actually bloody, I was just substituting that word for something a lot more crude) AND SAYS HE COULD RAPE HER AND ALMOST SEXUALLY ASSAULTS HER TWICE SHE STARTS  MAKING OUT WITH HIM.

I swear there is no sense in this relationship. And this is promoted as a healthy relationship, which is completely sickening. If I ever met a Patch, I would kick him where it hurts and run for my bloody life, while calling the police and MI5 and the FBI and Dr Who to sort this out.

Jules

Jules was my favourite character. He hated Nora and Vee as much as I did, and wasn’t there long enough to become obnoxious and annoying like every single character in this book. I’m not even kidding, find any random character (Minor or Major. Ha, that sounded like I was talking about Music Theory.) and tell me that they’re not annoying. Even the waitress is a… (can’t swear in this review, no matter how much I want to)… brat.

And then Jules had to turn into the stupid, stereotypical villain. He sounded like he was from a kids show, like Kim Possible (I had an awesome childhood)

OH GOD THERE’S A SPIDER IN HERE IN THE ROOM OH GOD OH GOD IT’S SO MASSIVE GO AWAY NO GO AWAY GET OFF ME

Goddamnit that was terrifying.

Sorry, back to the review.

Coach

What are you teaching kids? This is not how biology lessons work.

Marnie

Is that her name? I can’t even remember, that’s how forgettable she was. She was the usual stereotypical blonde, slutty, stupid cheerleading brat with too much make up and modelling jobs. Why are all the mean girls always cheerleaders? Why? Are cheerleaders that bad in america?

This seems cheerleaderist.

The Psychologist

Because I genuinely can’t remember her name. Was it Greene?

I saw that twist coming from a mile away. The author didn’t even make it subtle.

PLOT

Where was it? The Summary on my book was all about a massive, epic war between angels and choosing sides and so on. I saw none of that. I saw a girl getting terrorised and falling in lust with some hot guy, some hallucinations from ski mask dude, and… That’s about it.

There is a “fight” at the end. By fight I mean she stabs this guy with a knife in the leg, and runs off, then jumps off a ladder and it ends.

DIALOGUE

No. Not good.

When you read the flashbacks, they are the most stilted and awkward things you will ever read. People don’t talk like that. It was like a pantomime act, the way it was told. “Oh, because we’re FALLEN ANGELS, remember? *wink wink* And we have to do this stuff, and say it out loud even though that makes no sense *forced laughter*.”

The dialogue was passable between Patch and Nora at the beginning, but mostly because I was so creeped out by Patch, and it was so cliché. Cheesy is better than terrible.

WRITING

Good god, here we go.

First off, the writing is so cheesy and cliché, but even that’s not the worst of it’s problems.

Nora comes off as arrogant, assuming, paranoid, self-centred and downright stupid because of this writing.

She describes herself as beautiful, and her friend as fat. She skirts around the word, using voluptuous and curvy, but we know she means fat. It is so heavily implied.

She assumes that people must be jealous of her because Patch is “in love” with her, even though no signs suggest that.

The only reason she doesn’t want to go to a prestigious university is that she thinks they’re too snotty or something like that, it doesn’t even dawn on her that it might be because she’s so dumb.

She presumes that Patch must not exist because he doesn’t have a facebook account. Seriously. And because he hasn’t had a immunisation thingy.

AND THE BIT ABOUT THE SKI MASK.

No normal person, in Nora’s shoes, would presume that you’re annoying biology partner who hits on you is ski mask guy for two reasons.

1. You presumed you dreamed it
2. You barely know this guy
3. HE RIPPED THE DOORS OFF YOUR (replacing a very bad word with sandwich, because we have to try to be a little child-friendly. Hopefully if I’ve used too many bad words in this Yanni will edit them out)  SANDWICHING CAR. SANDWICHING BITS OF METAL OFF YOUR SANDWICHING VEHICLE. NO ONE DOES THAT. THE SANDWICH.
4. And since your biology partner is, you presume, just a sandwiching normal guy who doesn’t take mega steroids and isn’t Mr Incredible, there is no way you would jump to that conclusion. Unless you were Nora. Because Nora is an idiot.

Vee calls a bomb threat to the school, and the school does nothing but let the kids out to do whatever they want. That’s not how it works. All the description jumps to massive conclusions which I don’t know if they’re part of Nora’s character or just bad pacing.

Like how she presumes that it must be Patch talking into her head. And how Elliot must have killed that girl, even though the police said he didn’t. And how Patch must be an angel just because he has scars resembling some internet page. Small things like how she knows Patch has a deep and dark, mysterious past even though there’s barely any indication that he has one. Or that Elliot is so nice from nothing. It feels like cheating, because instead of showing us by development and scenarios, she just tells us straight up.

This would have worked in 3rd person, I guess, but in 1st it’s terrible.

But the main reason I despise this book with a passion…

Is that it basically promotes disgusting relationships like this. It tells girls to find guys that treat them like (trying to find another nice word substitute so I don’t get angry and swear) nothing, if they want the perfect romance. It tells girls to judge guys by how they look, and to be flattered by guys trying to rape them, because that’s just because they love them. It tells guys to treat girls like trash if they want to be liked, and to look like an Abercrombie and Fitch model, using terrible pick up lines, and be complete jerks because girls will find that attractive. The bestselling series promotes that.

It’s disgusting and ridiculous, but people fall for it. You don’t know how many reviews I’ve seen where people praise Nora for being smart and romantic and making perfect choices, where Patch is seen has sexy and admirable and sweet. They always seem to mention his good looks and “charm”.

This book does not only bore me, but it offends me. I feel like it’s directly insulting me. I feel like I’m reading a book promoting completely terrible relationships, bordering on abusive, and telling girls to find their own jerk because they won’t be whole without one. Just make sure he’s good looking and tries to get you in bed in every single chapter, but also tries to kill you.

In a society where we’re constantly trying to show people that it’s what’s on the inside that matters, this book is completely pushing back all these messages and showing us that only pretty people are let off the hook, then make fun of pretty people for being pretty at the same time. It’s offensive.

Quotes

I can’t think of any that I actually like, so here’s a random few thrown in that I found on goodreads.

  • “Keep in mind that people change, but the past doesn’t.”
  • “Guard your body.” His smile tipped higher. “I take my job seriously, which means I’m going to need to get acquainted with the subject matter on a personal level.”
  • “All this time I’ve hated myself for it. I thought I’d given it up for nothing. But if I hadn’t fallen, I wouldn’t have met you.”
  • “If you can’t feel, why did you kiss me?”
    Patch traced a finger along my collarbone, then headed south stopping at my heart. I felt it pounding through my skin. “Because I feel it here, in my heart,” he said quietly.”
  • “Call me Patch. I mean it. Call me.”
  • “He was the worst kind of wrong. He was so wrong it felt right, and that made me feel completely out of control.”

Overall

I can’t even give this 1 shuriken star. I don’t know if I can even give it half. I can’t think of a redeeming quality for this book, because I’m even starting to go off this cover.

1/4 of a shuriken star. I don’t even have a star category this low for it to go in. Sorry Becca Fitzpatrick, but your book just didn’t do it for me. Read this if you are a massive fan of Twilight, Wicked Lovely, Fifty Shades of Grey (No, I’m not talking from personal experience, before you ask. And no, I will not read it, I don’t want to get mentally scarred) or books are completely to do with how pretty the people are, not who the people are. You might like this.

For the rest of you, don’t even dare. You’ll probably scream in frustration at every other page like I did, and no one else will understand your pain. You’ll force yourself not to throw the book at the wall just because your library would kill you for getting it damaged.

Seizure- Kathy Reichs

Seizure (Virals, #2)SPOILERS TO VIRALS. DON’T READ THIS REVIEW UNLESS YOU HAVE READ VIRALS! (or if you are one of those annoying people like me who read the last page of a book before finishing it, because I can’t help myself)

So… I’ve been putting off doing this review for a few days now, because to be honest, I didn’t know what to make of it, and I needed a few days to process all my thoughts on this book. And also, while you read through the Cons of this review, bear in mind that this book is still 4 stars. 😛

Summary
Because I’m so lazy, and it’s the last day of the summer holiday, I’m going to just use the Goodread’s Summary:

Ever since Tory Brennan and her friends rescued Cooper, a kidnapped wolf pup with a rare strain of canine parvovirus, they’ve turned from regular kids into a crime-solving pack. But now the very place that brought them together – the Loggerhead Island Research Institute – is out of funding and will have to shut down. That is, unless the Virals can figure out a way to save it.

So when Tory learns of an old Charleston legend about a famous she-pirate, Anne Bonney, whose fortune was never found, she can’t believe her luck – buried treasure is exactly what she needs to save the Institute on Loggerhead! Trouble is, she and her friends aren’t the only ones looking for it. And this time, the Virals’ special powers may not be enough to dig them out of trouble . . .

And that pretty much sums it up. Except from the fact that the other people who are looking for it try to kill them…

Cons (every good book has some cons)
After reading Virals, it just seemed as if this wasn’t needed.
I mean, yeah, this is a great book and so was Virals, but I was happy about how Virals ended, and I was so so so so so so worried that this book was going to be a let down (which it was, and wasn’t, LIKE CORNFLOUR. which, as a side note, is AWESOME! 😉 ). It just didn’t link very well to the first book in the series… apart from the you know, Wolf-stuff.

It was too optimistic… and childish… and Deus ex machina (hehe, my awesome latin… and NO I totally didn’t look that up on wiki right now…)
WHEN IS A PIRATE’S TREASURE HUNT EVER GOING TO HAPPEN???
IT WAS JUST LIKE:
HEY I NEED MONEY
I JUST FOUND THAT THERE’S TREASURE BURIED SOMEWHERE
GUESS WHAT?
I JUST FOUND THE TREASURE!
????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? WTH?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
It just seems like some sort of lame children’s story… (but notice how I say “seems”)

Tory
To be honest, I didn’t mind her in the first book, but in this book… She just seemed unrealistic… She was always acting like a mother towards the other Virals… It really bothered me… It just seemed like Tory was too forced to “become” a “strong-willed females character” to make it more YA fiction, rather than just A fiction…

The bitchiness of the “Tripod”
I never got those things.
I was like something from Mean Girls:
A group of bitchy girls who would trash the main character.
IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN (AND YES. I FEEL LIKE YELLING). (Okay, imagine the rest of it in capitals, because I’m too lazy to keep typing like that…)
I’ve moved school plenty of times, and in each of them, yeah there were some bitchy girls and guys, but none were like “the Tripod” who publicly humiliate people who they don’t like or anything. It just seems like the way adults picture people who are that age… WELL IT’S NOT TRUE.
But then again, this book is set in Australia (I think), and Mean Girls is set in America, and hey ho, I’ve never been to school in those countries, so maybe it only happens in those areas… but I’m still doubtful…

Hm………….. This is turning really negative… It wasn’t supposed to go this way… Lets go straight to Pros now before you judge the book too harshly!!!

Pros
The Humour
It was like Maximum ride humour. As in the sarcasm and stuff. It’s funny. And better than maximum ride, because this book doesn’t have people resurrecting all the time, like Ari, instead, when people die, they die.

Cliffhangers
I’m not talking about the ending, I’m talking about how there were cliff-hangers all the time, so this was the fastest book I’ve read in a long time. It was extremely fast paced, and in general, AWESOME!

The Action
The fights scenes are awesome! For everyone! As in, if you hate blood and guts, you can still read it! There’s isn’t anything really that’s icky… It’s all guns, and wolf eyes.

Nerds
Its a nice change to have a book with the main characters as a set of nerds, rather than “normal people”. And if you at once think, when I say a bunch of nerds, of Big Bang Theory, don’t worry. In this book there is no character that interrupts every sentence going “Do you want to know a fact about tomatoes?”

How they still don’t master their “flares” at the end
If that happened, it would have pushed the line for me… I really hate those type of happy-sappy endings, where everything is happy and no one has died, and all the wolf-humans have everything under control. IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN. So, Thank you Kathy Reichs for not making an ending like that, and for giving it a sense of “the actual world (apart from you know, the wolf stuff)” 🙂
Oh yeah, going along that point, also:

How they didn’t find the treasure chest on their first go
That may have also pushed the line.

Favourite Quotes

  • “You’ll start talking, and pretty soon we’ll all start nodding, and then the next thing you know, I’m hang gliding off the Eiffel Tower at night, being chased by ninja vampires”
  • “We did just leave an insane asylum,” Hi agreed. “For all we know, Chance spend his nights dancing naked with sock puppets, plotting to invade Canada.”
  • “I’m adding ‘canine’ to my searches,” I said. “And ‘instinct.’” “Whatever. I’m adding ‘lunatic.”
  • “Ben locked his eyes on mine for a long moment. Then, “How?” “How do you think?” I smiled, then slapped him full across the face”
  • “Tory a father isn’t supposed to fear his fourteen-year-old daughter. That being sad, you terrify me”
  • “Ben yanked Hi sideways as spikes snapped from the wall…Once again, only Ben’s reflexes had saved him. “Please stop doing that!” Ben barked. “Please keep doing that!” Hi warbled”

Summary
I know I wrote quite a lot of negative stuff, but trust me, this isn’t a bad book, there were just some things that kept bothering me, and I guess this book “was the straw that broke the camels back” or however that quote goes…
And this may come as a surprise, because of all the ranting, but 4 shuriken stars!

Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked – Derek Landy

Lots and lots and lots of spoilers. There’s too much to talk about that I can’t help it.

I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THE FEELINGS. I JUST. I CAN’T EVEN. OH GEEZ.

So, I finished Skulduggery Pleasant: Kingdom of the Wicked at about 1am this morning. And let me just say.

WHAT.

HOW.

I.

OMG.

Right.

So, if you’ve not read Skulduggery Pleasant, then basically Skeleton Detective + Not-So-Normal Girl = lots of awesome.

NOW GO AND READ IT AND TELL ME I WILL BE OK OR JUST HOLD ME BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

Summary

So now everyone is getting magic, and then there are these kids who are also psychos who are really powerful, plus Argeddion and alternate dimensions.

Cons

Hmmmmm.

Well.

Erm.

Oh!

The Summary

Ok, the official summary wasn’t bad, but for a person that has never read the Skulduggery Pleasant books and doesn’t know the awesomeness that is Derek Landy, they might be unsure of it.

“Magic is a disease.

Across the land, normal people are suddenly developing wild and unstable powers. Infected by a rare strain of magic, they are unwittingly endangering their own lives and the lives of the people around them. Terrified and confused, their only hope lies with the Sanctuary. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are needed now more than ever.

And then there’s the small matter of Kitana. A normal teenage girl who, along with her normal teenage friends, becomes infected. Becomes powerful. Becomes corrupted. Wielding the magic of gods, they’re set to tear the city apart unless someone stands up against them.

Looks like it’s going to be another one of those days…”

Kitana’s mention made me go, “oh no.”. Believe me, I have so much faith in Derek Landy to write amazing characters and books, but there was this tiny nagging feeling in my head saying:

“What if this is like Dylan from Maximum Ride? Oh god, what if Kitana is a Dylan character?”

It just shows that I should trust authors more.

The Eighth Book

I swear, yesterday/this morning was so cruel. First, Pond Life part 5 ripped out my heart and crushed it into smithereens in the space of a minute and a half, and then that ending decided to do the same, except it was not the same type of ending.

You are not going to believe me when I say this, but let’s go. It was worse than the Son of Neptune ending.

I know.

It’s hard to compare, because they’re very different endings. Son of Neptune is the promise that everything is going to be good and amazing and so happy and just when it’s about to get amazing and happy and rainbows and cake and hugs, it just ends.

And you’re just sitting there going “WHERE IS THE NEXT PAGE?????”

This book, though. This was cruel.

Right at the end, there is the promise of something so happy and so good happening and then suddenly _____ dies and you’re like oh damn, they are in trouble. Oh god what are they going to do? This is bad. This is bad.

Oh god.

And then.

AND THEN.

THE EPILOGUE.

THE. EPILOGUE.

I don’t know how to even.

I’ll talk about this in the pros, because I’m getting sidetracked, but here’s what you need to know. I was completely terrified and surprised and shocked and screaming with my hand over my mouth.

For those who’ve read it, I understand your pain. Oh man, I understand it.

For those who haven’t. Good luck. You’re going to need it.

I CAN’T WAIT AN ENTIRE YEAR FOR THE NEXT BOOK I NEED IT NOW.

Fletcher

I MISSED FLETCHER SO MUCH.

He is my favourite character and I wanted him and Valkyrie to just get together and get married and have kids and sure, they didn’t really make a great couple but Valkyrie can grow up and realise that she is in love with Fletcher, even though she really isn’t but I don’t care. I WAITED TWO ENTIRE BOOKS FOR YOU TO GET TOGETHER AND WHEN YOU FINALLY DID ALL YOU DO IS CHEAT AND BREAK UP.

WHAT.

He only appeared in one chapter. Every time they mentioned getting a teleporter, I was waiting for them to mention Fletcher or find an alternate dimension version of Fletcher.

And he got a girlfriend.

What.

URGH. I should not care so much about fictional characters.

Seriously, though, it’s not a con. It’s just me being weird.

China

I missed her. So much.

But I know she’s probably not appeared because she’s going to be awesome in the next one, but I still missed her. So much.

Pros

How do I even begin this.

Oh, as always. Amazing writing style. Amazing amazing amazing amazing dialogue. Love the recurring characters. Love all the characters. Amazing amazing plot. Amazing setting. The usual.

Ok. Let’s start with the obvious.

Kitana & Co.

I usually don’t want evil characters to die that much. Even Lord Voldemort, who was beyond evil, I still felt bad for. He had a bad past and so on. Even Aaron from The Knife of Never Letting Go wasn’t that bad. Sure I didn’t like him, but I felt bad for him for being such a weirdo.

But not Kitana.

I wanted to punch that stupid…. Ok, I promised I wouldn’t swear so I’m gonna replace this word with Sandwich.

I wanted to punch that stupid sandwich in the face, she was so damn sandwichy.

Like, take Regina George from Mean Girls, times her by a thousand, then make her a complete murdering psychopath. Then add more sandwichyness and really really really powerful magic powers. Ta Dah, welcome Kitana.

The fact that they were powerful without trying as well, and battling these sorcerers who had a ton of power and trained for years and years, and they thought they were ultra special and really stuck up and sandwichy.

But the thing is, I didn’t full on hate her when they were killing people. I was thinking, oh maybe they can redeem themselves. Maybe she’s a complete psychopath but I don’t full on hate her.

But the moment I decided she was a Sandwich. WHEN SHE TOOK VALKYRIE’S JACKET. I was like, oh, that sandwich is going down. She turned me into a sadistic sandwich. When Darquesse was beating her up, I was smiling. When she came back to life, I was so annoyed. I kept thinking, oh just die already, sandwich. When Skulduggery became ______ (censored because Yanni is reading the books and I don’t want her to know) , I was like, hell yes, this is getting awesome. Die, Doran, die.

And I thought Doran was pathetic, and Sean was even more pathetic, and Elsie was awesome. I hated how much she defended Sean though, but she was so awesome.

Alternate Dimension

So awesome. SO TOTALLY AWESOME.

Is there really any other way you can describe it. Everyone in their Alternate Dimension forms were so awesome. Eliza Scorn being completely psycho and so totally different from the calm, collected and beautiful Eliza in the normal world. I think that was my favourite bit.

When Ghastly died in the Alternate Dimension, I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Ghastly is one of my favourite characters. He’s equal, to Fletcher’s top spot. Though, let’s be honest, quite a lot of people share Fletcher’s top spot. And those who don’t are about a millimetre off.

Which reminds me.

Tanith

Why do you do this to me, Derek Landy?

Why do you make me want to cry over fictional characters?

Ghastly and Tanith. I just want to hug them and tell them it’s all going to be ok.

If they don’t get together, and if Tanith doesn’t get that remnant out of her by the last book, I will be so distraught.

My poor fangirl heart will probably cease to exist, and I’ll just die from all the feelings.

You are so cruel, Derek, you are so so so cruel.

Darquesse

I think I like Darquesse way too much. Every time she gets out I’m so excited. I’m like, oh yeah. Things are about to get kickass.

And oh yes, are they kickass. Every single scene with Darquesse is awesome, and this is no exception.

Reflection

I began to love the reflection. Like, seriously love her. She was bypassing Fletcher and Ghastly and Valkyrie and Skulduggery and I didn’t even think that was possible.

Because in the third book, when we found out she was hiding stuff from Valkyrie, I was like, oh damn, this is getting bad. This reflections is going to turn out to take over Valkyrie’s body or something or strangle her in her sleep. But then it turned out that she was turning into one of Valkyrie’s only friends, and she was so awesome, and after she got tortured, and couldn’t scream, but didn’t want Valkyrie to live through that memory, I just wanted to hug her and sob into her shoulder. It was so interesting to see her personality develop and grow and see that she had feelings.

AND THEN THE END.

SHE.

SHE.

I.

When she __________ (more censoring for Yanni), I swear, I thought I was hallucinating. I read that sentence over two or three times to see if I’d interpreted it wrong, but no, she actually ________. She _____.

My jaw was on the floor.

I mean, sure, make me completely fall in love with a character, then turn her into a psychopath.

And now I have no idea what’s going to happen in the next books. Derek Landy is so good with cliffhangers and twists that I guess I shouldn’t be surprised.

Book 1: Ghastly! Nooo!

Book 2: The Faceless Ones are coming back!??!?!

Book 3: Skulduggery! NOOOOO!

Book 4: She’s Darquesse? SHE’S DARQUESSE!?!!?

Book 5: Tanith! No you can’t do this to Ghastly!

Book 6: Skulduggery. Is _________. But. No. BUT. BUT. BUT. NO.

And now this. And now _____ and the Reflection and ______ is dead and war and the Reflection and Darquesse.

The next book is going to be so freaking awesome.

Quotes

This is the most important one.

  • “He could wear a fez. Fezzes were cool. Hadn’t someone once said that fezzes were cool? He was pretty sure they had. And they were. They were cool.

If you got that reference, I officially love you.

  • “What?” she asked again.
    He pointed ahead of them. “See that?”
    “What, the snow?”
    “Beyond that.”
    “More snow?”
    “Stop looking at the snow.”
  • “You’ve done what?”
    “I know,” he said. “You’re impressed. You send me out for bread and I come back with a boy. Well, not literally. That would be weird. Even for me.”
  • “He could be a butterfly dreaming he’s a man.”
    “Well, he’s not. He’s a big fat man dreaming he’s a big fat butterfly. What the hell am I supposed to do?”
    There was another hesitation. “I’m not sure. You don’t happen to have a large net handy, do you?”
    “I want to hit him. I want to hit YOU, but I also want to hit him.”

Overall

Oh come on, You know what I’m going to give this. You know. 5 shuriken stars. This is officially one of my favourite book series ever. I love it so much. Go read it. NOW.